Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
