I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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