We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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