he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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