The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
whose parrot is this?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
