thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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