you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
