I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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