I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
