I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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