The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
