this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
