they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
