Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Let's paint friendship bongs
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
