I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
