I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
