Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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