Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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