i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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