Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Randomize
