it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
