Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
