so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
