Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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