from now on my penis is your penis
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
