Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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