How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
