3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
operation have a gay friend backfired
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
