You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
