**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
