That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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