So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
