soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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