Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
