look no pants
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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