he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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