Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
