I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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