ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
