We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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