; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
