you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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