it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
