So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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