i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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