We're facebook friends in real life
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
