Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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