i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
