I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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