I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
