Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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