Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
