She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
