dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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