there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize