All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
