Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
