I hope mine doesn't look like that
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
