i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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